Month 2

This picture is the epitome of my maternity leave.

Long walks on the river path is what we spend most of our days doing.  There is nothing more peaceful than a sleeping baby and fresh air.  As soon as Ryan gets outside he falls asleep.  It's our little trick for bedtime.  Every night, just before bed, Tim takes Ryan on a long walk and I swear it is the sole contributing factor to Ryan's awesome sleep habits.

We've also been spending a ton of time with the family.  Big cousin, Tatum loves to hold Ryan.  She is going to be a great helper when Ryan gets just a bit older.

Spencer's Butte was a great first hike after my c-section.  We decided to spend one Sunday afternoon hiking the butte and it was absolutely gorgeous.  I got a little tired, but I was pretty proud of myself for making it all the way to the top, while carrying a baby, and just 5 weeks after my c-section.  It felt good to get some "real" exercise in.  I am missing running so bad.  

We also welcomed the third and final installment of the Bellin side of the family for 2012.  Nolan Robert was born on May 23rd.  He completes a couple different trios.  He's the third baby in his immediate family and he is the third baby among three sisters who had babies within a 7 week time span.  I hope to see #3 on all of his future soccer and basketball jerseys.  He's way too big to have a receiver/qb number like 3 for football.  We're thinking a linebacker or lineman # would be more appropriate.  Maybe 33? :)

We also made another trip to Seattle.  This time via plane.  Ryan did fantastic on his first plane ride.  I made sure to nurse him on take off and landing, just in case his ears were popping.

All in all, it's been a pretty good couple of months and we have no clue how life ever was before Ryan. 

Month 1

We were so lucky to have my mom come down and stay with us for a few days after we got out of the hospital.  We were exhausted and Tim had to go right back to school.  Mom whipped our house into shape, cooked us yummy meals and helped me do all of the errands so that I wouldn't have to do it by myself once she was gone. 

We were slightly overwhelmed by visitors.  We wanted all of our family and friends to get to meet and spend time with Ryan, but between Tim being at school and needing to do homework, we hardly had any time at all as just a family.  I think with baby #2 we will set some very clear boundaries for visiting hours, just to be sure we get enough time alone to bond as a family.  Let me be clear, we LOVED our visitors, but we had so many that it became overwhelming at times. 

Ryan was a great sleeper from the get go and we felt so lucky that he only woke two, maybe three times during the night.  Once my mom left we spent our days taking long walks along the river path and visiting with friends that had babies right around the same time.  Maternity leave was awesome. 

At three weeks old Ryan took his first road trip.  He was a champ and the trip was great.  We got to spend some great time with Grandpa (which is where Ryan's middle name comes from) and the rest of the family while we were in Seattle. 

A week in the hospital continued...

So we headed home, packed up our stuff and drove to the hospital.  When we got to the hospital they informed us that we were going to be staying on the peds floor because NICU was full and peds only had 1 other patient.  The first nurse we were assigned to came in and was really nice from the get-go, but it felt a little off.  It didn't seem like she had that much experience (or any at all) with newborns.  When she was changing Ryan's diaper she didn't keep him covered and he ended up peeing in his face.  Funny, but also a little disconcerting.  She informed us that Ryan would have to live in a "bili-bed" which basically looked like a baby tanning bed.  The lights provide a phototherapy that helps break the bilirubin down. 

Ryan in his bili-bed.

 

He had to be in his bili-bed for almost the entire day and we were only allowed to pick him up to feed him or change him.  I broke this rule many times.  In fact, I broke this rule whenever he cried.  There was no way I was going to let my 4 day old cry it out. 

 

When it was time to feed Ryan the nurse came in and took his weight before he was fed and would take it again after he ate to see exactly how much food he was getting.  The first time we did this it seemed like Ryan had a really good latch and nursed for a long time so we were really excited to see just how much he got.  We were really disappointed when he had only gained a few cc's.  He was getting next to nothing while he ate.  This explained the weight loss and the reason the jaundice wouldn't go away.  The most effective way to get rid of jaundice is to poop it out and with Ryan not eating much, he wasn't pooping much either. 

 

 We snuck Ryan out of the bili-bed for a few snuggles with auntie and Tatum.

The next feeding the nurse came back in to help Ryan latch and once again it seemed like he had a really good latch.  Once again, he ate almost nothing.  I requested that the nurse call lactation to assist for the next feeding.  

 

To make a long story short, our nurse had NO CLUE what she was doing when it came to getting a baby to latch.  She also yelled at me at one point and told me I had to "figure out now or feed the baby formula".  Formula was something I was not willing to do unless it was absolutely necessary.  When she finally called lactation (after repeated requests), we found out that Ryan has a really high arch to the roof of his mouth and couldn't get a proper latch.  The lactation nurse was fantastic and after spending a night pumping every hour and feeding Ryan a bottle, she finally suggested the nipple shield.  It worked like a charm.  

 

 One of the bonuses of being in the bili-bed - pedicures from daddy.

Unfortunately we had to go through a few tantrums by me (my baby's needs were NOT being met by our nurse!) before they finally gave us a new one.  After 3 days more in the hospital, we were finally allowed to take our sweet baby home.  

A Week in the Hospital

Note:  I gave up on blogging after a tumultuous labor, delivery, and first week in the hospital, but I really want to keep this blog up so I am attempting to get caught up.  Most of these posts were written months ago and just never posted.

Mr. Ryan gave us quite the run for our money in the first week of his life.  I'll give you the abridged version.

Our first night in the hospital was great.  We had a fantastic nurse, Jo.  She was amazing and helpful and did everything she could to make us comfortable.  Because of my c-section, we were slated to stay in the hospital for 3 nights, something both Tim and I were NOT looking forward to.  We wanted to get our baby home and with home being less than a mile away, it was killing us.

 Dad, Ryan, and our favorite nurse.

Our first full day with Ryan was  bit of a whirlwind.  We had visitor after visitor.  So many people needed to meet Ryan and we were happy to oblige.  We wanted to show him off and have him meet his entire family.  My mom, dad, sisters, brother-in-law, nephews and niece all came by in the morning to say goodbye before making the trek back up to Seattle.  It was amazing that they were all there for the birth of Ryan and I was so happy that they got to be a part of it. 

By late afternoon all three of us were exhausted and ready to settle in for the night as a family of three.  We were getting a new nurse every 8 hours which was a little annoying.  We would finally get to know and feel comfortable with a nurse and she'd be gone.  At about 8 pm a new nurse came on and immediately didn't like Ryan's breathing.  She called in NICU and the NICU nurse agreed, Ryan's breaths per minute were way too high.  There was nothing they could do at this point except monitor him.  I was exhausted from surgery and all of the visitors and I didn't handle this information too well.  I wasn't the strong mama I wanted to be and broke down anytime it was discussed.

 In the car seat for the first time.

By the next afternoon Ryan had regulated his breathing and all was well.  He was little jaundice, but the doctor's weren't worried because this is fairly normal. We were released from the hospital on Saturday morning with instructions to head back to the doctor on Sunday to check Ryan's jaundice levels. 

We spent one blissful afternoon at home with our baby before night interrupted.  Ryan was wanting to eat all the time.  I felt like he was getting a good latch, but he never seemed satisfied.  By morning, I knew his jaundice wasn't improving.  He hadn't pooped and had only had one wet diaper.  There was no doubt in my mind that it was going to be bad news at the doctor's.

Mother knows best and the doctor confirmed all my fears.  Ryan had lost over a pound, which was more than the normal 10% of body weight that most newborns lose.  His jaundice levels were too high and we were given instructions to go home, repack, and head back to the hospital. 

Baby Brown arrives...part 2

After a full day of labor and over 2 hours of pushing, I was headed to the O.R. for an emergency c-section.  At this point, most of the epidural had worn off and I was feeling everything.  The doctor didn't want me pushing, but the contractions were still coming with a vengeance.  Let me tell you, having to not push through contractions was the worst pain I have ever experienced.  I was absolutely devastated and the last thing I wanted was a c-section, but it had to be.  They got me set up and wheeled me to the OR.  Tim was given scrubs and sent to get changed.  I held myself together pretty well, but ended up having a good little cry when I was in the OR waiting for Tim. 

When Tim arrived it was time to get the baby out.  The nurse asked who I wanted to tell me if it was a boy or a girl and I immediately said Tim.  The anesthesiologist sat on one side of my head and Tim sat on the other.  I could definitely feel pressure and even some pain, so they were in a hurry to get the baby out.  I was burning through the anesthesia and they wanted to sew me up ASAP.

After just a few short minutes, the doctor told Tim to stand up and he shouted "It's a BOY!".  I didn't believe him.  I was in complete shock and just kept saying "no way!" and "are you sure?".  Then I started sobbing...I had wanted a boy so badly, but never wanted to admit it for fear of disappointment.  I just kept imagining my sisters and I with three little boys.  My dream came true.  We had Ryan Alden Brown.  And it's a good thing too, because we had no idea what the name would be if it were a girl.

 

My view as I entered the recovery room.

Tim cut the umbilical cord and they immediately put Ryan on my chest where I talked to him and kissed him for a good 1/2 hour before they took him away to get him cleaned up.  I sent Tim with him and the sweet anesthesiologist stuck by my side and talked to me and rubbed my head.  What a sweet man.  

After they got me all sewn up, I was wheeled to recovery where Tim and Ryan were waiting for me and I could FINALLY drink something.  I downed a Vitamin Water and then asked for another.  I wanted to cover up and put a sports bra on so I did and the nurses were amazed at my ability to move.  The anesthesia was wearing off pretty quickly.  Tim and I got to hang out in recovery for over an hour.  It was really nice actually.  We got to marvel at our little boy with just the two of us and without any interruption.

So happy to finally meet my little boy. 

When we finally arrived at our post postpartum room, the entire family was waiting for us and everyone took turns holding Ryan.  Rowan and Ryan got their first picture together and Ryan got passed around.  It was an amazing and exhausting day and one I won't soon forget. 

Ryan and Rowan meet for the first time. 

Baby Brown arrives...

Wednesday, April 18th marked 5 days past my due date and it was the day chosen by our doctor (with our input) to induce.  My mom came to town on Tuesday and we ran a bunch of errands.  I was still feeling really good and just knew that this baby was not going to make his/her appearance any time soon.  We got a ton of stuff done and got manicures and pedicures and then went to Turtles for an awesome dinner out.  I slept pretty well that night and we woke up bright and early to head to the hospital.  I ate a hearty breakfast of oatmeal and scrambled eggs, knowing it would probably be a long time before I could eat again.

We were checked in and the started the pitocin pretty much right away.  We quickly discovered that our sweet, sweet nurse was actually a distant cousin of Tim's.  Those Browns are everywhere!!! The day progressed rather well and lots of visitors were in and out including a surprise visit from my sister Heather and her 10 day old little man, Rowan.  It was fantastic to get to finally meet the little stinker in person!  I was adamant that I didn't want ANYONE (besides Tim) in the room for anything - the delivery or any of the checks leading up to it.

The doctor came in and checked on me a few times throughout the day and was happy with the progress I was making. At around 5 cm dilated I decided it was time for an epidural.  I had tried various positions and the pain was quickly increasing and talk about sweet relief!!!  I could still feel everything, but it was much, much more manageable.  Unfortunately the epidural only took to one side and I was feeling back labor, which I hadn't had at all before.  They had me laying on different sides and in different positions in hopes that the baby would shift and I would get some relief from the back labor.  After a while they decided that the epidural wasn't doing its' job and they gave me a bolus.  This helped immensely.  The doctor came in to check me a while later, at about 4:00 and I was at 6-7 cm dilated.  When he came back an hour later we were all shocked to hear that I was dilated to a full 10! I kicked everyone out and they prepared me to start pushing.

At first the pushing was a little hard, I had a difficult time figuring out if I was pushing in the right place, but within 15 minutes the doctor could see the baby's head and I was feeling a bit more pain, which helped me feel where I needed to push.  I was feeling really, really good and just knew we would be meeting our little baby in a just a short time.

An hour and a half later I was still pushing and making no progress.  It was the most frustrating thing in the entire world.  I was working so hard and we were trying every different pushing position possible and I wasn't getting anywhere.  At this point the doctor decided that we needed to use the vacuum.  I was a little surprised to see that it looked like a toilet plunger, but I knew that that sweet little contraption was going to help me get this baby past my pubic bone and out into the world.

I pushed with every ounce of energy I had, but after 3 attempts at using the vacuum the baby was just not getting to where it needed to be.  Tim, the doctor and my nurse were all cheering me on and telling me I could do it and I just knew that I could.  At this point I saw the look of concern on the doctor's face.  He expressed concern that if it was this difficult to get the baby's head out, that his/her shoulders could pose an even bigger problem and then we would really be in trouble because the head would be out, but the shoulders wouldn't.  He decided to give me one more chance to push and if I didn't make any progress then we were going to have to do a c-section.

My entire pregnancy I talked and talked and talked about how the only thing I really cared about was that I did not want to have a c-section.  I just had this idea set in my mind that I wanted to do the work of pushing this baby out of me.  I just really wanted that experience and felt like it was an extremely important part of being a woman.  I must have jinxed myself because after 12 hours of labor and over 2 hours of pushing, I was headed to the O.R. for an emergency c-section.  I was devastated.